Randi and Shane have a hard discussion about what they each want.
Cast
Randi Halle Millien
Shane Mark Millien
SFX and Music Contributors
SFX
Q Tone [Query]
Tone 4.wav by patchen of freesound.org
Q Tone [Response]
Tone 3.wav by patchen of freesound.org
Music
Helen’s Letter Theme
Forgotten Bells - Gangs 2 by MINOR2GO of looperman.com
Created by Mark and Halle Millien
Cover Art by Halle Millien
Written, Directed and Produced by Mark Millien
Helen’s Letter:
Harrison. When I find you I am going to kill you. I know that we are going to find you. I know that you are scared because you heard me and your dad. I know that you will be so sorry when you realize how scared I am right now. But I know that we are going to find you safe. I know that you are okay because I know that there isn’t a version of me that could survive if you weren’t. Not one that I can conceive of, and because I cannot come to terms with that possibility I reject its existence in its entirety. I would blame Desmond if I was as worthless as I feel, as truly pathetic as the woman who’s voice I hear when I speak. The bulk of the homeschooling effort has been on him. He went to all the websites, indexed all the individual children’s interests, crafted an ad hoc Montessori curriculum, hoping he could keep you distracted enough from your boredom that he wouldn’t have to plug you in to any of the streaming services. Screentime is the new Satan. I grew up with the television as my nanny and look at how I turned out. A case study in accepted mediocrity. But you are not mediocre. You are special. Not because you are the beat of my heart and the pride of your father, but because you are empathetic. You will be so many things that I am not. You WILL BE. If I knew any voodoo I’d snatch the hair of a virgin and kiss the ass of a demon, oh god, I need you to be okay. I’m sorry I’m so consumed with my own shit that I haven’t given you what you need. I swear to you I will. I will. I will. I’m sorry about your dad. About what I said. I didn’t mean those things. Five weeks of quarantine has shown me things that I’m not proud of but I will make them all up to you. Since before I could walk, people have called me beautiful. Pretty. I am. It sits at the center of my identity. The world contours around me and I sit in its cushion. Having the pillows ripped out from under me has been, unsettling. I’m not making excuses. It’s long past the time for excuses. I just wanted you to know, after we find you, that I meant what I said. I wanted you to have proof that this is what made the difference. That you are how I define myself, you and your sister, from now on. God. From now on.
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